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Times I feel left out. Sometimes it feels i am never being heard. Or that everyone thinks my life is perfect so no help is ever offered. How are they supposed to help when my struggles are not seen.
Not seen, or even talked about.
I feel like this huge problem with pornography never comes up or is acknowledged in actual church.
Which is crazy because of how serious it is. More importantly how real it is.
It's real. and there are many of us in the midst of dealing with sex addiction or pornography addiction.
In relief society, which is a class for the women in the ward, a lovely sister gave a great lesson about strengthening families. I chimed in a couple times and felt the spirit throughout.
She then asked a question: "What are some things that are threatening our families?"
I waited a few seconds and was the first to raise my hand for a comment. I said plain and simple, "Pornography". It was dead silent. I didn't dare look around. But the sister up front humbly nodded her head and said yes.. it does. Nothing else. No elaboration on the subject. No other comments. No other nodding heads. It was like I had said a bad word. Or a dirty word. It was utterly quiet.
Another lady then raised her hand and said something to the extent of people treating their pets as their "kids" and how that is ruining families. And everyone audibly agreed. Like everyone had something to add to that and I could hear people agreeing from across the room. And that topic lasted a good few minutes.
I was shocked. I couldn't believe how the answer "pornography" was receieved. It was like nobody wanted to talk about it. Or maybe nobody wanted to "out" themselves thinking if they talked about it then it meant maybe they were the ones dealing with it personally. And heaven forbid anyone know.
I dont know. I don't know why I wasn't backed up. It was the first time I really felt alone in this way at church.
It was sad. Because I know that there are so many women out there who are dealing with this... I know it.
And what's more sad is that as women..... we couldn't even talk about this problem that is utterly destroying our families. Our marraiges. Our children. Our lives..... if we let it. If we don't get help on every aspect. If we don't have knowledge about it.
How are we supposed to be prepared to fight against pornography and beyond if we cannot even utter the word in Sunday school.
It's saddening.
i like this little space of yours. I'm so proud of you for being the voice. every congregation needs someone like you to bring it out in the open. And you know what? you're not alone. I know dozens of women who are doing the same things in their relief societies. :)
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ReplyDeletehey friend, didn't mean to delete my comment! anyway, i was just saying i'm sorry that happened to you. that really sucks. you should have gotten support, but i know that is a topic a lot of people aren't sure what to say or what is ok to say in a church setting. what would you have liked them to say to make that experience more meaningful to you?
DeleteI'm nodding! At home, in my bed, far away.... I'm nodding and backing you up. And how's for conversation "porn is not only threatening our families anymore. It's destroying them. Far more than pet children ever could.
ReplyDeleteit totally scares people to talk about. it's hard for people to get to the nitty gritty core of our real problems. this has always frustrated me about church... these huge problems never get talked about. everything is so on the the surface and then we talk about treating our pets as children because it's not a "real" problem. i remember when i was in young womens and they used the phrases "necking and petting.." what the crap is that?? then as i got older and boys touched me where they weren't supposed to, i totally didn't know it was "necking and petting." we need to be forward and talk about these issues that are hurting us.
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