 |
| [source] |
Times I feel left out. Sometimes it feels i am never being heard. Or that everyone thinks my life is perfect so no help is ever offered. How are they supposed to help when my struggles are not seen.
Not seen, or even talked about.
I feel like this huge problem with pornography never comes up or is acknowledged in actual church.
Which is crazy because of how serious it is. More importantly how real it is.
It's real. and there are many of us in the midst of dealing with sex addiction or pornography addiction.
In relief society, which is a class for the women in the ward, a lovely sister gave a great lesson about strengthening families. I chimed in a couple times and felt the spirit throughout.
She then asked a question: "What are some things that are threatening our families?"
I waited a few seconds and was the first to raise my hand for a comment. I said plain and simple, "Pornography". It was dead silent. I didn't dare look around. But the sister up front humbly nodded her head and said yes.. it does. Nothing else. No elaboration on the subject. No other comments. No other nodding heads. It was like I had said a bad word. Or a dirty word. It was utterly quiet.
Another lady then raised her hand and said something to the extent of people treating their pets as their "kids" and how that is ruining families. And everyone audibly agreed. Like everyone had something to add to that and I could hear people agreeing from across the room. And that topic lasted a good few minutes.
I was shocked. I couldn't believe how the answer "pornography" was receieved. It was like nobody wanted to talk about it. Or maybe nobody wanted to "out" themselves thinking if they talked about it then it meant maybe they were the ones dealing with it personally. And heaven forbid anyone know.
I dont know. I don't know why I wasn't backed up. It was the first time I really felt alone in this way at church.
It was sad. Because I know that there are so many women out there who are dealing with this... I know it.
And what's more sad is that as women..... we couldn't even talk about this problem that is utterly destroying our families. Our marraiges. Our children. Our lives..... if we let it. If we don't get help on every aspect. If we don't have knowledge about it.
How are we supposed to be prepared to fight against pornography and beyond if we cannot even utter the word in Sunday school.
It's saddening.
